Cassandra

09:59 pm: I have decided that this is pointless, its not like anyone gives a damn so what is the point.

11:29 pm: Today was a good and bad day. Alma's mom died Sunday and we buried her today. I had a good lunch with my dad spent about 2 hours with him. And the Dallas Stars won tonight 4-3 against the St. Louis Blues. It was an overtime shoot out. So actually it was 5-3 but the shoot out only counts as one.

12:46 am: happy dance
I'm going to see Phantom of the Opera at the Music Hall in April!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:02 am: My room is slowly nearing completion. I have new pics on my walls. I have a long picture titled "Memories of Paris". It has a shot of the Metro, the Eiffel Tower, and the Moulin Rouge. That picture replace the 2 Disney prints. On the wall next to it I have 3 50s glam girls, the Mermaid Martini, the Stardust Piano Bar, and the Continental Jazz Club. Plus I have 2 small shelves with some of my shot glasses on them. For the wall with the long picture I have a 5 candle shelf thingy. Its cool. There are curtains on my closet finally. My floors are finished. The closet is half way painted. So slowly by surely my room is being completed. I hope to have it totally done by Christmas.

The intern from hell has been gone for a while now its been so nice with out him there. We hired a new girl, her name is Ginger. She is working out so awesome. I guess that work has actually been ok.

On November 12th me and Lydia went and hung out at Firewheel for a few hours. I love hanging out with Lydia she is so much fun. We went into many stores. There was a lot more opened this time than the last time I was out there. We did not go into Barnes and Noble, neither one of us had the desire to. After we went to the mall we headed back to Mesquite to pick up Alma and we headed for the Magic Time Machine. We were celebrating Lydia passing her tech test. And this time we had Captain Jack Sparrow. TOTALLY YUM!!!!!!! We had a very good time.

Went with Alma to Grapevine Mills on Wednesday (16th). Got me a new gir shirt, 2 new pairs of shoes, and a jacket. Yeah I have an adult jacket. hehe.
I saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on friday with Adam, that was fun. I got him from school about 1:20. We went and eat at taco bell (his choice), went to the new theater in Rockwall. After the movie we went to Target, he got a hat and a shirt and I got a shirt.

Tuesday we go on our mission impossible for Corey's X-box 360. It should be a very interesting day. Can't say that I'm totally looking forward to it but once I get him that I do not have to get him a Christmas present.

Speaking of Christmas I would like to veto it this year. I'm so not in the mood. Blah

Well I'm very tired. So good night.

10:24 pm: omg
I had one of the scariest night of my life last night. When I was leaving work I heard on the traffic report that there was an accident in Royse City and a nasty back up. Having driving in Royse City no huge surprise, so I did not think anything about it. Later while I was waiting for dinner to be ready Alma called. It started as the weirdest conversation and turned into one of the scariest that I have every had with her. She asked if Adam went to Royse City and I said yes. Then she asked if he played football and I said yes. Then she asked if he played on JV and I said yes. By this time I'm totally confused. And then she scared me to death, she tells me that the bus carrying the Royse City JV team to their football game has flipped over. That was the wreck that I heard about on the radio earlier. I tell her that I'll call her back I got to find out it Adam is okay. The first person I think to call is Charlene. I call her phone and get no answer, so now I'm even more terrified. So I try Adam's phone, I figure if he's ok he'll answer his phone. The phone rings and then he says "hey". Talk about instant relief. I answer hey back just so happy to hear his voice. After a second I asked if he is okay and what happened. He tells me that the coach was taking a corner that bus slid off the road and it flipped, he said the coach was not even going fast. He was ok, he was helping the coaches get the other boys off the bus. The only person really hurt was his best friend Alex who they had to care-flight to Parkland. I talked to him for a few minutes just so glad that he was ok. I called Alma back to let her know that he was ok and that Charlene had him and they were headed to Parkland to check on Alex. She tells me to watch TXCN that they are covering the accident. So I turn on the tv, change the channel, and freak out. I know he is ok but to see the bus lying on its side, it still scared me. Later that night I watch channel 8 news because Adam said he was interviewed by them. There was Adam and Blake on tv, he was just telling them what happened, and Blake was just standing there. And in the next little segment I got to see my dad with my brothers on tv. Charlene was on tv today on channel 5. I cried myself to sleep last night, just thinking that I could have lost my baby brother. Thanking God that he is ok and safe and that all of the other boys are okay also. I don't know what I would do if I lost one of my baby brothers, especially Adam.

11:59 pm: what's wrong
I was asked the other day what was wrong, that's a loaded question. I think it would be easier to figure what isn't wrong. Lets answer the question.
First there is work. The intern from hell is still in our pharmacy and none of us know when he is leaving. He is totally incompetent, he can't do the simplest of tasks, like reprinting a label. He has been there for over 3 months and is not retaining any thing we teach him. He has made my job go from something I hate to something I completely despise.
Second, I went to a funeral on Tuesday. Alma's grandfather passed away on Saturday and I went with her to be her support. I don't like funerals, but I really don't like the memorial service, it reminds me to much of what I have lost. Funerals drain me mentally, emotionally, and physically. And totally weirdness when I got back to work, Jeff asked me if I needed a hug. I was shocked. I said no even though I probably could have used one.

10:30 am: um...ok

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Gorgeous Alchemist. Where You Lived: Ukraine. How You Died: In Childbirth.

Ok the Alchemist I can totally buy, sounds like fun. But gorgeous not in this lifetime or in any past ones. And the dying in childbirth all the more reason not to have children now.

10:06 pm: Keep going--persevere, even in dark times. Move forward with hope.

I wonder if the stars know how hard this is. This was my horoscope on Monday October 17th. Sometimes I really wonder if this crap really has something behind it. Cause sometimes you get stuff when we you really need it. Who really knows.

01:44 am: I don't think that I'm suppose to ever be happy. I don't mean everyday happy, I mean truly happy with some one. I really think that I'm to be shown what it would be like to be with someone who makes me happy just being with them. But its just a tease, that I'm not really to have this feelings so the person that is making me happy leaves my life. I think that I'm to never be the most important person to anyone, I'm not meant to be at the top of anyone's list. I'm to forever be in middle, at the bottom, last, or not even on the list of important people in anyone's life. I should be use to this I've never been the most important person in any of my boyfriends life, that was always a place for their friends. So if I'm never to be happy why should I even bother? If I'm to be used a while than let go, then what's the point? I'm so tired of being hurt and abandoned.

10:56 pm: I got a corny dog!!!!!!!!!!
We went to the fair today. We being Alma, Erin and me. Before we headed off to the fair we had to remove all the furniture from my room. My mom finally took the time off to finish my floor. That was a fun was a little 2 hour adventure. When we finally headed off to the fair it was almost 2pm. We got and had awesome parking, and not by the animals. We got a corny dog and dr. pepper. Then we went and drooled over the cars. We proceeded to wander around the fair grounds. After leaving the fair we headed off to the new "mall" Firewheel Town Center. We walked around the place exploring some of stores. The last store we went into was Barnes and Nobles, and guess who was a work? Phillip. He said his aunt in Illinois died and that was why I have not heard from him in a week. We talked for about 2 minutes but he was busy. He said that he would call me today and/or stop by. And guess what I have not heard from him at all. So I'm back to being confused and getting kinda annoyed. I really really would like to know what is going on between the two of us. Well I'm completely exhausted I'm going to go to bed.